LOVE / CULTURE
03
The Problem With “If They Wanted To, They Would”
Human behavior is messier than a slogan.
READ ↗NOT ACTUALLY YOUR THERAPIST
Psychology without the clinical voice. Philosophy without the pretension.
READ BETTER QUESTIONS
LOVELIMERENCEATTACHMENTDESIREHEARTBREAKSELFHOOD
THE CURRENT OBSESSION
01
LIMERENCE / ESSAY
How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone
Sometimes the person isn't extraordinary. The uncertainty is.
READ THE ESSAY ↗02
I write about the things we call chemistry when we mean anxiety, intuition when we mean fear, and love when we haven’t figured out what else to call it yet.
ATTACHMENT
04
The No Bullshit Guide for the Anxiously Attached
What keeps relationship anxiety alive—and what actually interrupts it.
READ ↗
RELATIONSHIPS
05
The Four Ways We Ruin Our Relationships
Criticism. Contempt. Defensiveness. Stonewalling.
READ ↗THE INDEX
Pick your problem.
For the question you are absolutely not Googling at 2:13 a.m.
01Limerence↗
02Anxious AttachmentSOON
03Love & RelationshipsSOON
04Dating & DesireSOON
05Healing & HappinessSOON
06Identity & SelfhoodSOON
IRL-ISH
SUNDAY SESSIONS
MONTHLY / LIVE / COMMUNITY
Come talk about it.
Monthly live conversations about attachment, limerence, love, and the patterns we keep pretending are personality traits.
JOURNALINGDISCUSSIONNO SMALL TALK
SEE SUNDAY SESSIONS ↗
FIRST SUNDAY
OF THE MONTH
OF THE MONTH
ABOUT / 06
Not advice.
Not diagnosis.
Better questions.
Not Actually Your Therapist is an independent editorial project about the psychology and philosophy of love, attachment, intimacy, identity, heartbreak, and being a person around other people.
Educational and editorial content only. Not a substitute for professional mental health care.